Snapchat Etiquette: The One Night Stand

Never let a one night stand find you on Snapchat. You will receive an incessant amount of snaps of his roommate doing things that you really don't care about. This is his way of reminding you that he exists since you have never responded to his texts, emails, or his Facebook friend request. He doesn't realize that Snapchat's sole purpose is for sending dick pics and since you never want to see his again, you are okay with this.

Emergency Room Visits

When you find yourself in a situation that might merit a trip to the emergency room, ask yourself a few questions:

1. Is there exposed bone?
2. Will I bleed out in the next hour?
3. What time is kickoff?

Whenever possible, wait until kickoff.

When I find myself in need of medical care, I like to go to the emergency room the next day and I choose the hospital with the best flat screens. This way I get to watch the game and the doctors aren't wasting precious time fretting over my blood alcohol level instead of focusing their attention on what is actually ailing me. The afternoon crew also tend to be friendlier and more liberal with their prescription pads.